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D'une parole libre avant que la parole ne se libère : in memoriam

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         Cela fait 10 ans aujourd’hui qu’un des prêtres ayant compté dans ma jeunesse est décédé et je dois dire que je ne peux que penser à lui ces temps-ci, très souvent. Pourquoi ? Parce qu’il fut abusé dans sa prime jeunesse, quand il servait la messe. 

 

         Je ne pense pas tant à lui parce que c’est une horreur de plus que parce que, à une époque où la parole ne s’était pas encore libérée, je me souviens de sa manière de nous en avoir parlé, à nous servants d’autel qu’il accompagnait, à tous les plus grands à partir de l’adolescence : à la fois en vérité, sans aucun voyeurisme, mais avec pudeur : que ce mal était possible, qu’il blessait plus qu’horriblement, que cela marquait à vie. Et, dans le même temps, que, dans son histoire, le Seigneur était plus fort que cette mort intime et qu’il Le servait comme prêtre, dans le même diocèse où il avait été abusé : dans ce mal qu’il nous confiait, il y avait aussi cette lumière incroyable dont il témoignait. Sans grands mots, jamais : dans la simplicité. Il faisait preuve d’une belle écoute, d’une prière pudique, un peu secrète, qu’on devinait avec une fidélité du quotidien même dans les tourments de la maladie, jusqu’à son dernier souffle. 

 

         Oh, certes, c’était loin d’être un homme parfait : ses coups de gueule sont restés célèbres et, sans doute, s’il avait vécu aujourd’hui, il en aurait poussé de plus gros. Parfois, il m’arrive même de les imaginer avec un grand sourire ! Mais c’était bien ainsi qu’il était aimé des paroissiens et des jeunes et qu’il les aimait, avec affection et exigence. 

 

         Pourquoi est-ce que j’en parle maintenant au-delà de l’anniversaire de ce décès ? Parce que je me dis qu’avoir entendu cette histoire dès mon jeune âge m’a rendue sensible à toutes les révélations qui tombent depuis plus d’un an, m’a préparée, m’a « sensibilisée » au sens allergique du terme et que c’est extrêmement précieux. Comment être prêt à dire "non" si nécessaire dans une Église que vous aimez ? Comment se préparer à écouter celui ou celle qui vient vous confier l’inimaginable ? Il n’y a sans doute rien de mieux que la parole, libre et vraie et cela dès l’âge où nous sommes aptes à l’entendre : cela n’enlève rien à l’amour du Christ et de l’Église, cela rend simplement aussi sensible qu’exigeant. 

 

Merci, père Claude Thibault pour cela comme pour le reste : je suis sûre que, là-haut, le Seigneur a essuyé toute larme de vos yeux... et que vous intercédez aussi pour que toute cette vérité se fasse au service d’abord des plus souffrants, pour le bien du plus grand nombre. 

 

 

 

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